Getting Over the Fear of “Hard”
n 2020, after COVID, I lost a job I absolutely loved, and it changed my life more than I ever could have imagined.
I worked for one of my best friends, and I got to bust my butt making cold-pressed juice. I LOVED the work. It was physically demanding, and I got to play with fruits and veggies all day. If you know me, then you know how much this suited me. We were beginning to expand our menu, and I got to create recipes. I was so sad when she had to sell the business. We had no idea what was in store for us.
We went from a big, beautiful, one-level, bright, and clean location that was bustling with customers to a dark, dingy, tiny, and almost unusable space that was completely isolated and two stories. This meant we had to haul hundreds of pounds of produce up the stairs then haul the juiced pulp and the bottled juice back down. It was exhausting. The space was either not heated in the winter or not cooled in the summer. The building was under construction, so it was dirty, and we had to go through so much extra work to be 100% sure we worked clean and safe. We went from a full staff to just me and my friend.
It was a challenge, to say the least. We were grieving the loss of what was, nervous about the future, starting over, and just trying to navigate having such a big part of our lives being turned on its head.
After about a year, my friend had to step away and find a job that had more financial opportunities. So then it was just me. I did all of the labor myself. I was pushed and stretched beyond what I thought I could even do. Coming in at five in the morning, hauling all that weight up and down the stairs, and dealing with the mental load of planning, purchasing, and coordinating all by myself. I still loved the work and even the challenge, but it wasn’t sustainable. I was overworked and exhausted.
I eventually decided to part ways too so that I could decide what I wanted to do. I spent about two years building a small health coaching business and then eventually just decided to be a stay-at-home wife. It was a luxury to have that option, and it was possible because of how my husband and I choose to live.
The time I spent at home was priceless. I built healthy habits, spent hours with God every morning, found productive routines in my home, and got to spend so much time with my friends and family. I grew emotionally, spiritually, and healed a lot of internal battles with myself. But my husband and I have some dreams that are going to require some money, so we decided it was time for me to go back to work.
After a season of utter freedom and ease in my routine, it was time to turn it on its head again. That time of being challenged and overwhelmed really built a fear in me of being pushed again. But God directed me, and I knew I was up for it and decided to believe that, like last time, I would surprise myself. And I knew I had spent the last couple of years being pruned and sharpened by God to be prepared.
However, I still felt like I didn’t want to work anymore. I loved the freedom too much, I wasn’t sure I was mentally strong enough, and I had even said in the past that I could never do what my husband does. But I wanted to believe in myself. I wanted a sense of purpose, to be proud of who I am and what I can do, so I decided to apply for a job I never thought I would do.
My husband and I work for the Toyota manufacturing plant. It’s intimidating both by its size, physical demands, and time demands. The work is hard, the hours are very long, we sometimes work six days a week, and the environment isn’t the most conducive for happiness. It’s the complete opposite of what I have been in the last couple years. It’s a challenge.
The first couple of weeks really took an adjustment period. I was exhausted inside and out. But then I made up my mind I wanted to make the most of what I have here in front of me. I have a chance to build up my body, build a structure to my life I didn’t have before, start over with new people, push myself to persevere when it’s hard, achieve financial goals, and really just make my own happiness.
In this challenge I thought I couldn’t handle and thought I didn’t want, I have found so many things I was looking for. I have something to work for. It’s a dream, it’s a stronger version of myself, it’s a life where I don’t wait for things to make me happy.
I realized that we so often avoid the very things that will change what we long to change. We often try to wait for the circumstances to make us feel capable when in reality the “doing it” part is the circumstance that brings that belief. Our minds and the enemy try to convince us we just don’t have what it takes and maybe even that there is no point. We settle into what is comfortable and sacrifice all there is to gain.
Don’t fear challenges. Take the time to decide what you are going to believe in and what you are going to believe about yourself. Change the narrative in your mind about what you have been through. It didn’t break you down. It wasn’t a failure. It was proof you can face the challenge.
I feel so proud of myself for taking on something I didn’t think I could. I will give it my best, and if it doesn’t work out I’ll make a change. If I have to walk away like I have before, I’ll know the time was not for nothing. I am taking responsibility for how I want to feel at this time and what I want to get out of it.
All things are possible with God who provides me strength. We are far more capable than we think, and without the choice to step into the unknown, we miss out on so much growth, confidence, purpose, and adventure.
What is God nudging you to step into? What makes you nervous? What opportunity do you have to do more, be challenged, and be stretched? Don’t shy away from it. Step in!
I can say from experience the challenge itself has brought healing, peace, and change that I was waiting for. No one is bringing it. I have to find it. I have to choose it. It’s never easy. Nothing of value comes without cost. But the cost is worth it to live, to not settle, to see what I am made of, what this life has to offer, what dreams can be made reality, and to see what God can do!
